Hi kids, it’s me. You may remember me from such blogs as this one. I have not written in a while because, frankly, I’ve had nothing to say. I’ve had nothing really going in my life that is exciting or worth writing about. Just living each day, one at a time, and hoping it will go by quickly so I can get to the next day. What a miserable existence. I’m grumpy tonight. I’ve only had 4 beers. 4. That’s it. No more and no less. I wanted to have four and was so proud of myself because I stayed at four, however, my mood has turned sour and I’m filled with self-loathing and self hatred. Not good, right? I know. I need to understand that I’m a great guy…. however, my mind screams differently. “You fucking suck… nobody will ever love you…. nobody!!” It’s so loud that I just want it to shut up and be quiet for a little bit. I know it’s not true, but when the thoughts are coated with this negative substance it oozes into every crevice of my being. Does that make sense? Are you following? Probably not.
I have a job I’ll be starting soon. Monday to be exact. The good thing about said job is that I’ll hardly be doing anything that involves drinking or any type of recreational drug. Why you might wonder? Because, I’ll be working 12.5 hour days. Those are long days but with my job it’ll be a chance to make good money. I’m selling cars. I may not seem like it by my negative nancy blog but I do promise you that I am quite the people person and can talk to anyone. I do very well with people. I think it’s because they like me and trust me. That’s a good thing. I like that people like me and I’m excited to start this job. It’ll be good for me. Especially to have some income coming in. I’ve been unemployed since October so I had to take what came up first. Ya know?
I’m tired. Physically I’m just wore out right now. I’m unsure why but I think it’s time for bed. I think that could explain my poor mood right now. Being tired. Maybe that’s why it wasn’t the best idea to have that 48oz of beer… because it increased my fatigue and when I am tired I am SUPER introspective which is NEVER good. I turn inward and start judging myself like crazy. I need to stop that.
Hi, I’m Dan and I’m awesome.
PS: My 20something’s friend… I tried to write on your blog and it still won’t let me. I give up. It really pisses me off to no end every time I write something out and it says “cannot accept user comments.” So I’m done trying. Sorry hun.